I really like being outside the channel

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    So, Negative Neil:   Who do people think they are?    I had something, I invested some money in it.   It didn’t work out how I wanted it to..   OK.    Move on..    The other person, they want to just do this that and the other thing that are all annoying.       I want to say “There is no other way to say it, I don’t have anything of yours..”   But do you know what I have done:   Nothing.   I have completely ignored her.    That is annoying her, no question, but what am I supposed to do?   I’ve got nothing.      My other possibility is to have someone else call her and say “Neil died.”    When she says Oh My God they can tell her that it is a metaphor.     Tell everyone you know Neil died.   He doesn’t want to have anything to do with any of you.

    I don’t like being Negative Neil.     My father enjoyed Negative Neil.    It is actually a Taylor trait.   I saw it in Grandpa Taylor before I turned into Grandpa Taylor.    Grandpa Taylor watched me just stoke fires with my mother.    My mother thought her ways were better than mine.   The problem:   I do everything my way.     She would get mad.   I wouldn’t blink.   Grandpa would say “So how do you think that turned out?”     I would say something like “pretty much like how it always does.”

    I wish everyone had the chance to meet Grandpa.    He was liked by all.     A nicer guy than I am, he was just basically charming.     In his younger years he was at war with a lot of people.      He didn’t talk to his brother for 70 years.    I think I posted about that before.   That came up one time and I said “I can beat it.”   Grandpa laughed.

    Grandpa took care of Grandma..     He did it better than four of us could when he was in the hospital.

    He was smart.    He was on a level with my father.     Grandpa was smart.   My father was a genius.     I’m not kidding.    My father set the bar high.    I was always amazed my father wanted to talk to me because I knew I was inferior.     Grandpa and I had our time.   My father and I had our time.    I am just lucky I guess:  I was born into this family and those guys gave me some time.      Greatness.      In my own way, I have done some things a lot of them most of you don’t know about.     I can feel good about it.     But I wish I could have been a guy like my father or Grandpa.     Those guys were gold.     Fathers.   I am not a father.

    If there is an afterlife then they are together.      That would be good.     Them and my brother Mark?     That’s more intelligence in one spot than it has been since the three of them were together on Earth.    My brother, the only guy I ever knew who challenged my father in intelligence.      He pushed me hard.       Most of what I have because of my brother, he went along with what I wanted to do.

    I can’t elaborate.   My brother.     I shake my head.    What it is:    A reality.     It is a story a lot of people want everyone to know.    I choose for no one to know.

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